Half A Giraffe

A little New Year’s Eve gift

Every year on December 31st, the bloated hungover masses vow never to do/eat/drink/ride whatever their individual vices may be, mostly in an effort to comply with the outdated social construction of the New Year’s resolution – something designed to make you feel so guilty could really only be a tool of the Catholic Church). So pretty much without fail every year, 99.9999999999999% of these earnestly uttered promises are broken within the early few hours of the 1st January.

Some survival tips for using an attended bathroom. If you’re not sure if this is for you, ask yourself if you’ve ever used a public bathroom. Go on. Ask yourself. I’ll wait. Ok, done? Exactly, right? I know! Go ahead, read it, I won’t keep you.

Here are the abridged scripts for the ten worst movies of the past year.