Welcome back kids.
No longer do you have to put up with sunshine; days at the beach and having no responsibility. School term is back with a vengeance. Don’t worry about having fallen behind on statistics or feeling rusty with your Irish. There’s plenty of fun filled evenings to be had studying with time away from your friends and activities. But remember school can be a big, scary concrete jungle without the bare necessities.
We here at ‘School Daze’ have an exciting new range of can’t live without items to kick start your school term.
Spiderman Flick-Knife
Are you tired of bullies taking your pocket money and constantly watching where you walk in the hallway? Well with this cool new accessory you’ll never have to feel defenceless again. Next time a teacher starts shouting out you or a 6th class bully tries to smack you, just jab this funky knife into their carotid artery (that’s the neck, for those of you silly youngsters not paying attention in Biology). It comes branded in several of your favourite comic book heroes. (Parents I know what you’re thinking, but don’tworry. It also has a flick comb, so your child can always look their best)
The Item prior to branding.
Pocket sized Snuff box
Is studying for your exams getting to you? Can’t quite keep yourself awake for that last page? Why not try our array of study aids. They come in a portable sized container that can carry your drug of the day. Also you can enjoy snorting coke from your very own customised snuff box branded with your school logo.
A sample box from Lady Brownbottom’s all girls’ school.
Kevlar school uniform
Fed up of having to wash and dry those nasty blood stains on a daily basis? No worries. Our new Kevlar uniforms will battle those nasty knifings and gunshot clothing qualms. Choose from a variety of colours to suit your school requirements.
iPhone homework application
We remember the days when we forgot to do an assignment or the crack addict pooed all over your essay for English class. Fret not, this brand new iphone application can hack into your teachers records or simply track a similar document, related to your subject of choice, then print it out to hand up as your own the next day. Meanwhile you can head to the local arcade and get that ever elusive high score.
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