Review Archive

  • Afternoon, bitches and bastards, welcome to the worst day of your life. That’s right, it’s me, Christopher “Go Fuck Yourself” Walken. I’d like to extend a thank you to the...

    Christopher Walken Reviews “Fright Night”

    Posted on Saturday, 3 September 2011 | View Comments
    Afternoon, bitches and bastards, welcome to the worst day of your life. That’s right, it’s me, Christopher “Go Fuck Yourself” Walken. I’d like to extend a thank you to the...

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  • Based loosely on the fairytale of “Sleeping Beauty 4″, Shrek 4 starts with the happily married couple of the Shreks magically turned into blocky 2 dimensional figures for about and...

    Shrek 4

    Posted on Thursday, 25 November 2010 | View Comments
    Based loosely on the fairytale of “Sleeping Beauty 4″, Shrek 4 starts with the happily married couple of the Shreks magically turned into blocky 2 dimensional figures for about and...

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  • 'I found some spearmints in my pocket, cleaned my nails and in a moment of idle curiosity began chewing on some hair I had pulled from my head.'

    Review: Iron Man 2

    Posted on Friday, 14 May 2010 | View Comments
    'I found some spearmints in my pocket, cleaned my nails and in a moment of idle curiosity began chewing on some hair I had pulled from my head.'

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  • 'Those of you troughing your way through a bucket of popcorn whilst texting your friends about the new facebook message you received will find solace in this movie's priorities. As you lie there gargling phlegm, 2012 will gargle right back at you.'

    A Review: 2012

    Posted on Thursday, 29 April 2010 | View Comments
    'Those of you troughing your way through a bucket of popcorn whilst texting your friends about the new facebook message you received will find solace in this movie's priorities. As you lie there gargling phlegm, 2012 will gargle right back at you.'

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  • 'Prince Of Persia Jake Gyllenhaal: At no point will I be referred to as a prince in this movie. Which is based on a videogame. And now they're making a videogame out of this movie.'

    10 Summer Movies. 10 Seconds Each.

    Posted on Sunday, 25 April 2010 | View Comments
    'Prince Of Persia Jake Gyllenhaal: At no point will I be referred to as a prince in this movie. Which is based on a videogame. And now they're making a videogame out of this movie.'

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