We’d like to apologise to anybody who finds themselves working in any of the following professions. We’d like to, but we won’t. Because we hate you.
- the mortgage advisor.
- the jigsaw puzzle piece cutter.
- the clothes peg fault line checker.
- the fig-into-roll inserter.
- the subtitler.
- the lightbulb maker.
- the lipstick length checker.
- the wicker chair maker.
- the ear bud maker.
- the White House painter.
- the faulty velcro repairer.
- the bible page numberer.
- the shower curtain maker.
- the salt taster
- the nose hair clipper tester.
- the toothbrush colourer.
- Daniel Bedingfield’s personal assistant.
- the wire hanger repairer.
- the apron tester.
- the bed spring manufacturer.
- the magazine binderer.
- the ice cube tray designer.
- Jim Corr’s publicist.
- the ice cap movement measurer.
- the pearl necklace maker.
- the typewriter ink ribbon inserter.
- the hotel room picture painter.
- Dannii Minogue’s correspondence writer.
- the globe maker.
- the dry ice machine operator.
- the soup granuale manufacturer.
- the bifocal glasses designer.
- the head of the melaine blatt fan club.
- the exit sign designer.
- the door handle inserter.
- the fake blood manufacturer.
- the holy bread taster.
- Jedward’s Greatest Hits album producer.
- the calendar date numberer.
- the coal sacker.
- the ruler manufacturer.
- the lead-into-pencil inserter.
- the rose de-thorner.
- Martin Scorsese’s award cabinet maker.
- the school desk designer.
- the plug designer.
- the socket designer.
- the pocket manufacturer.
- the eyebrow plucker tester.
- Jessica Simpson’s personal tutor.
- the toothpaste tester.
- the doorbell ding-dong sound designer.
- the eye lash curler maker.
- the lamp shade manufacturer.
- Russell Crowe’s yoga instructor.
- the cereal pack weight checker.
- the shoe lacer.
- the doll hair specialist.
- the rubber band designer.
- the cotton woll baller.
- the universal t.v. remote control checker.
- the shoe boxer.
- the still water sparkler.
- the Lego piece designer.
- the pillow filler.
- the earring-back manufacturer.
- the zip maker.
- the lollipop stick maker.
- the hair brush bristler.
- the rubix cube maker.
- the stamp gluer.
- the clock-face number sticker-on person.
- the candle wick manufacturer.
- the weather erosion geological observationalist.
- Christina Aguilera granny knickers supplier.
- the snail reproductive cycle observer.
- the pasta dehydrater.
- the tablet packager.
- the bottle top screwer-on-er.
- the shoe sole maker.
- the jean ripper.
- James Cameron’s modesty wrangler.
- the pen nib manufacturer.
- the scrunchy maker.
- the bread slicer.
- the product bar coder.
- the light switch manufacturer.
- the food-fat remover.
- the Olsen Twins telling-apart co-ordinator.
- the easter egg wrapper.
- the dice numberer.
- the bird seed bagger.
- the precipitation level monitor.
- the Bruce Willis stereotype diffuser.
- the fishnet stocking maker.
- the staple maker.
- the toilet roll insert inserter.
- the paper clip tester.
- the elasticated tie designer.
- Paris Hilton’s librarian.
- the tinsel manufacturer.
- the bubble wrap maker.
- the polystyrene bead manufacturer.
- the non stick coating tester.
- Marilyn Manson’s personal tanning assistant.
(special thanks to Elaine Daly for helping me with this)
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Tags: boring, dannii minogue, funny, james cameron, jedward, jobs
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